Laws of Matriarch

Dream Journal Entry: July 5, 2025 I had this dream where I was heading to Alaska for some reason I couldn't quite figure out. The area was totally unfamiliar to me, and I ended up walking a lot or taking the bus. My brother was with me for part of the journey. At one point, we stopped at this place that felt like an old reserve. There were kids running around playing, but they seemed pretty careless. They were shooting at some targets they had set up and accidentally grazed a guy’s hand and nicked his back with a bullet. I thought he was lucky it wasn’t worse—just a couple of scratches. Eventually, someone stepped in and told the kids they needed to be more careful, and thankfully, they got the message and stopped. We were also in charge of hosting some business folks, who we brought back home for some meetings. There was a mix-up with our feast schedule; ours was supposed to start at 2 PM, but there was another feast happening before ours, so we ended up starting around 6 PM inste...

Last night, I had a dream about my true love, Terry. In this dream, we were in another life, and I was at a beautiful gathering. The sun was shining, the grass was lush, and there were a few lovely trees around. Everyone was having a great time, playing games and laughing together. I can't quite remember who I was with, but it felt so good to be surrounded by friends. Then, out of the blue, I saw Terry, and he saw me too. I've loved him deeply; he's one of my true loves.  When he wanted to spend time with me, I noticed the way he spoke—it felt controlling. That made me a bit uneasy. We hung out for a short while, and it was nice to feel that love again. But the way he was trying to dictate things made me realize that things had changed between us. So, I told him right away that I couldn't see him anymore. Even though I still loved him, I knew I didn't want to be together. A few days later, I ran into him again. He tried to persuade me to hang out, and for a moment, ...

 June 6, 2020 I had this dream where I was at a big community gathering at a farm with my friends. We heard there'd be free food, and we were all excited about it! Some kids and women decided to wear wedding and flower girl dresses for a fundraiser. I thought I’d join in and wore a wedding dress with some black booties, thinking everyone would be dressed up too. Turns out, I was one of the few walking around in a beautiful wedding dress. We had to go through a long maze outside the building to get in, and by the time we arrived, it felt like we were the last ones there. As we walked in, I felt a bit strange. We saw women and girls in those wedding dresses standing in stalls, looking tired and bored—like they were just going through the motions. We kind of ignored them, as if it was just a normal part of the event, fitting into that white culture vibe. Once inside, we noticed people already sitting at tables, having finished eating. We found some seats and I could see there was stil...

April 20, 2023 In my dream, I felt lost, like a leaf blown by the wind. Everyone around me was rushing, trying to scrape together a few bucks, busy with their own struggles, many wanting to break free from life on the streets. I dreamt of Kaila Skye. I headed downtown, parked near a bar, and sold a car seat to get by. I left my car and walked to m&h. There, I saw Kaila and shared with her that I’m not always strong, just a person like everyone else. She told me, “You’re strong,” and kept working while we talked. I stayed close, watching her in action. She drove to her next stop, pulled out a seat, and sold it to an old man. Then, she sold some black paper to a rugged biker who looked like he had seen a lot in life. We ran into Tereasa Dale, who had some things to trade. She pulled out her black coins and black paper to show the biker. It seemed like everyone was trying to sell something. Kaila was busy cleaning up and organizing her stuff. We made our way to a bar that held a 12-st...

  Jan 27, 2018 I had this wild dream where work invited us to a fancy ball, and it felt like there were going to be a ton of stars and lots of Indigenous folks there! 😂  My boy and I were strolling down from the mall, where we saw babies being showcased at some kind of protest. We had our little one with us too! 😂 Out of nowhere, someone picked up our baby—like we were trading babies around! 🤣 At one point, we ended up holding a baby that a dad had left on a ledge, and it almost toppled over. When the dad came back, he looked super worried that he lost his little one! 😂  After leaving the mall, I think Conan was with me for a bit, but then it turned into Eathan again. We pulled out the GPS to find the quickest way home. It felt like we were going down Gitanmaax hill, but it wasn’t quite right—there were houses everywhere with narrow lanes. We took a small path that wound along the hillside. It took us a while to make it down, and suddenly the street lights went out. T...

  Dec 19, 2021  I had a burst of energy today and got a bit of cleaning done. I dreamed about Kaila and Conan when they were younger. In the dream, we were trying to make our way back to Kitwanga on a train. I saw my cousin Pam, but she looked unhappy about my plans to move back home. While exploring the daycare, I noticed pictures of kids on the walls, and I felt a rush of excitement when I spotted Kaila and Conan among them. It felt like we were part of the community, even though I couldn’t see anyone else. We wandered through the village, which seemed to be set in the future, with more trees and new homes. That was the gist of the dream. On my way home today, an owl flew right in front of my car. Normally, I’d be a bit worried, but given that our house crest features two baby white owls, I see it as a good omen, perhaps a sign of protection.

  May 18, 2020 I had a peculiar dream where Rob was at a factory, selling spring fish and other large catches to a buyer. 🤑👝💰💵🏦 However, the buyer rejected six fish because they were too small for his big metal cooler. 🤔 Rob explained that we needed to head back to the truck or boat while he handled the negotiations—that was just how things worked. As we made our way back, we spotted Charmaine. She was trying to sell some fish that she and her husband had stored in their hotel room, looking a bit anxious. She mentioned the weight was around .58 or something like that. The fish appeared to be in good condition, so I turned to Rob to gauge his thoughts.  When I glanced back at the bag, I realized it wasn’t fish at all—it was ox tail! 🤔 A second look revealed it was actually five pieces of chicken. 😒 I turned to Rob and asked, “Do you want to buy them?” 😅 And that was the end of the dream. Is good fortune on the horizon? I’m not quite sure what to make of the chicken sit...

  Aug 18, 2018 In my dream, I was leaving a visit down a back road, and there were a few bears around, which felt special. As I drove north, I noticed some people turning their vehicles around ahead of me. Then, I spotted a huge golden grizzly just standing in the middle of the road, scratching at the ground 😳. I decided to turn around, and it was funny because there was a lineup of cars behind me, all waiting for me to make a U-turn. It was like bingo was out 😂. I’m really thankful for grizzlies and the way they watch over us 🙏🏽❤️👌🏽. #LoveBears

  March 9, 2019 Lately, I’ve been having dreams about those who’ve passed on. I’m not sure how long it’s been—maybe since January. It feels good to see them again; it’s almost like things are normal. I had a surprising dream where I saw David Beaudry. I hope he’s doing okay out there. One night, I realized Conan was at home. I was confused about why I was dealing with work and a snake, so I hurried back home to be with my friend ❤️.  When I walked in, Conan had three candles lit. As I started to speak, one of them went out. I brought out some little owl candles and told him I liked the small ones and the light they give off. He looked a bit upset since his ceremony got interrupted. I reminded him that ceremonies can still go on even when things don’t go as planned. We re-lit the candle and added a few more. He felt better after that. I told Dave about our rich neighbor's fancy porch, and he pretended to be interested, having a good laugh at my stories lol. Stay safe, my family...

Dec 10, 2018 I had this wild dream where I stole a bunch of money—only it was from my job, and I felt so guilty about it! 😂 We pulled off this crazy stunt where we smuggled a gold bus on top of another bus to some secret location. 😆 Suddenly, $100,000 was deposited into my account, and I knew I’d get even more! 😁  So, what did I do? I hopped on a plane straight to Hawaii with my grandsons! We landed in the water, which was a trip in itself! 😋 As we stepped off the plane, we walked right into the ocean on the beach, and I could see all these exotic fish swimming around us. The boys took off ahead while I somehow got lost! 😂  I wandered along a wharf filled with these huge crabs that looked like they were trying to clip me! 😆 But I wasn’t scared at all—I grew up with live crabs, so I knew they were just being silly. I reached a dead end and decided to head back to catch up with the boys. For some strange reason, we ended up in these poor hotels, but they were still big and...

 Nov 18, 2018 I had this dream where I actually had a man in my life, and we were planning to get married! 😁 But here’s the funny part—I was feeling sick, just like I am now, and I couldn’t remember his name at all! 😂  We went to the store, and guess what? I was walking around with no shoes on! 😂 My man had this wild idea to steal some chicken that was left outside by the delivery guys. It was hilarious! I remember wanting to grab some things to make wonton soup 🍲, but somehow, we ended up with nothing.  Then, the store started locking up, and I was getting kicked out! 😂 But as I rushed out, I spotted my man and the boys waiting for me in a truck.  What a crazy dream, right? It felt like a love story, even with all the chaos! #lovestory ❤️

 Nov 29, 2021 What a wild dream! 😅 I found myself staying with my boyfriend and his family, living in the Raymour Project. He mentioned something about the kids breaking into cars and slashing the tires. So, naturally, I had to check it out.  When I stepped outside, I saw some troublemakers moving from car to car. Then, this little boy, maybe about five years old, came at me like he was ready to throw down—like he was trying to mug me or something! 😂 I just tossed him aside and headed to my car. To my surprise, the back hatch was wide open, and there were keys in the front door and another set in the back. But these weren't my keys; they felt like ghost keys, just floating around. Luckily, nothing was taken from my car, and my tires were safe—no damage done! 👍🏽 I grabbed the keys, closed the hatch, and parked super close to our door. The dream happened around 11 am, which was a bit odd. 🤔  As I think about it, I realize I don’t have a man in my life right now, or a w...

 Jan 8, 2018 I had the wildest dream where I ended up marrying Rob! 😩 I was in the middle of a party, so someone had to rush and bring my wedding dress for me. 😆 When I finally pulled it out, it turned out to be that stunning blue gown I wore as a bridesmaid at a previous wedding. 😱  I felt the need to apologize to Rob for the mix-up, but he didn’t seem too bothered. 😘 The ceremony continued, and somehow, we tied the knot! 😂 I remember feeling incredibly happy despite the chaos.  What a strange experience! A true nightmare wrapped in a wedding celebration. Devil in the blue dress, indeed! 😂

Oct 13, 2018 The last dream I experienced this morning felt like a true gift. I found myself at work in our new office, which resembled a store. Our role there was to serve as legal advocates. I was a bit puzzled by the store's native aesthetic, but it was charming to witness everyone bustling about, preparing for the grand opening and showcasing beautifully crafted indigenous items. Despite knowing Conan was safe, I couldn't shake off the anxiety that he might be trying to reach me due to some emergency. I had stored my jacket in a cubby, which contained my phone, but when I returned to check on it, I was unable to locate my cell amidst the jumble of coats that had accumulated. As the office filled with people for the opening, it became impossible to retrieve my phone. Traditional community members began to arrive, and when introduced, they would perform songs and dances as they entered. The guests, adorned in their full regalia, were led by women singing a blessing. I found m...

 Nov 25, 2020 My Dream: I dreamt that I was performing CPR on Rob, not very effectively, I must admit. He had died once before not long ago, but somehow he was brought back to the hospital and appeared to be alive and well. Later, I spoke with him and sensed his spirit. He revealed that he didn’t want to continue living on this earth anymore and had even signed a 'Do Not Resuscitate' order after his first death. I asked him, “You don’t want to live anymore?” and he simply replied no. I placed my hand on his back and prayed for God’s mercy, asking Him to take Rob if that was his wish. We lay down together, and I witnessed his spirit leaving his body, a brilliant blue light shining forth. I raised my hands and said, "Goodbye, Rob," thanking the Lord for His kindness and love. The next morning, to my surprise, Rob’s body got up. I was frightened and confused, wondering why he was still alive. Then I recalled what my mom had told me: when people die, their spirit may have...

  Jan 1, 2018 I had a dream where I found myself riding a large pony at Kitwanga, where they had pony rentals. I was gliding downhill when I realized the roads were under construction. I accidentally ended up in the left car lane, so I quickly maneuvered to the right side, where the path was rough and overgrown. As we continued down the hill, we emerged into a vast open area that was also being worked on. To my shock, I spotted a grizzly bear and another large bear below. 😳 Oh no, I thought, that grizzly is going to eat my pony!  Knowing we couldn’t outrun it, I leapt off the pony and gave it a little nudge to run. To my surprise, it only trotted a few steps before stopping. 😏 In an instant, the grizzly was right next to me, approaching like a giant cat looking for a pet. I cautiously reached out to hug the grizzly. I felt a twinge of concern for the pony but knew I had to find a way to escape, even if it meant jumping into a vehicle, which could be even more dangerous, once...

  July 2, 2017 Last night, I had a vivid dream about Conan; He returned home after spending three months in jail, and there were a few others with him who had also been incarcerated. I didn’t recognize them, but they seemed to be there to support him. It felt like he had been through this a few times before, almost like a familiar routine. Conan walked in carrying delicious fried bread stuffed with something akin to bologna or veggies. Everyone was raving about it. I got up to wrap him in a hug ❤️. I never hold on for long, but I wished I could stay in that moment forever. Instead, I busied myself with making more fried bread. I miss my boy so much; it’s been eleven years since February. It’s always a joy to receive a visit. I love you, Conan ❤️ Until we meet again ❤️.

 Jan 3, 2021 I dreamt that I was heading to a gathering filled with loved ones who had passed away. As I stood with two men waiting, one of them turned to me and asked, “Who is your dad?” It struck me as odd, as we usually ask about our mothers or grandmothers. When I looked up, I saw it was Melvin. He had passed away shortly after my brother Dexter. I replied, “My dad is your dad,” referencing the traditional laws that had appointed my stepfather after my biological father’s death. The other man, Tony, burst into laughter, and I couldn’t help but smile back, while Mel looked a bit confused before a smile spread across his face too. After that encounter, I continued on my way, needing to meet friends at work before picking up the kids and grabbing food for the gathering. I felt a twinge of guilt for taking work calls and not having enough time to chat with my friends, which led them to leave before I could catch up. When I finally arrived at the gathering, it was bustling with spir...

 Aug 13, 2017 I had a dream where I was getting married, surrounded by my family. So many faces filled the room, but I could only recall a few, like Brad and Stella. The day was a whirlwind, and I found myself lost in a flurry of hugs. Amid the simple, semi-traditional ceremony, I was busy gathering medicine and offering up prayers. Once the festivities wrapped up, I began sorting through some old belongings, clearing out the clutter. I stumbled upon pictures of my first husband and snapshots of my children in their younger days. As I prepared to do laundry, I made my way to the shared utility room. To my surprise, the room was flooded, with water everywhere. It felt strangely normal; after all, we lived near the ocean, and the heat was intense. The water reached my calves but halted at the door, as if held back by an unseen barrier. I remarked that it felt like God was present, but Rob insisted it was something else causing the water to rise. I maintained it was divine. Suddenly, ...

 May 30, 2019 I had a dream in which I found myself marrying a good friend of mine who happened to be Chinese. Interestingly, my feelings for him weren't romantic; our families had come to an agreement for us to marry for six years primarily for tax benefits. It seemed to be a practical arrangement that would greatly assist his businesses and help my family as well. Funny enough, I didn't actually make it to the wedding ceremony, and someone stood in for me! However, I did attend the reception. My mom had bought me a beautiful dress for the occasion, but I found myself complaining to another friend because it wasn't a traditional wedding gown. Surprisingly, I didn't seem to mind the idea of marrying, knowing it was temporary, and I had complete trust in my friend. Throughout the dream, I could see the faces of the men I had loved in my life—they were fond memories, and I felt no regrets.  When I woke up, I thought about how lovely the dress was and how spoiled I must se...

 April 17, 2019 I had a vivid dream about my brother Dex, who was approaching me in Prince Rupert. I was hanging out with some friends when I spotted him, and without thinking, I dropped everything and walked over to give him a hug. He was standing in front of a local bar that I didn't recognize, near the site of the first mall and close to where the old theater used to be. Dex looked troubled. I asked him, "Why are you here?" He replied that he shouldn't be going into that bar, referring to my uncle Robert Mowatt, whom we call Sonny. I pressed him again, asking, "But why are you here?"—meaning in my dream and on Earth. He reiterated that he shouldn't be going in there, clearly frustrated. He felt he couldn't communicate with Sonny, and when Sonny finally heard him, he just rolled his eyes, which made me chuckle. If I knew how to prevent my uncle from doing something, I would definitely try! But brother, it seems like you might need some serious help...

  Aug 27, 2017 I had a remarkable dream; My children, Kaila and Conan, and I embarked on a journey up the mountain. The reasons for our ascent were unclear, but we felt a divine calling guiding us. Jennifer joined us, eager to catch a glimpse of her grandfather Victor, should our path cross with his. The climb was arduous, steep and challenging every step of the way. With her imaginative spirit, Kaila fashioned climbing gear from the materials we had on hand. Having never attempted such a climb before, I felt unprepared, yet determined. We made swift progress, buoyed by the strength that seemed to flow from a higher power. Though we encountered stunning vistas and luxurious villas along our route, we pressed on, pausing only to rest and refuel. I sensed the kids were tempted to linger, but our purpose kept us focused. At each stop, I offered prayers, catching glimpses of angels fluttering above, busy in their celestial duties. Reaching the summit, we took a moment to rest. Ahead la...

### Introduction In the heart of the Gitxsan territory, where the rivers flow like the lifeblood of our ancestors and the mountains stand as silent witnesses to our history, there exists a legend that has been passed down through generations. It is a tale of resilience, of strength forged in the fires of struggle, and of the unbreakable bonds that tie us to one another and to the land we call home. Long ago, when the world was still young, the Great Spirit bestowed gifts upon the Gitxsan people. Among these gifts were the powers of the natural world—the ability to connect with the spirits of the land, the wisdom to heal wounds both seen and unseen, and the strength to face the darkness that sought to overshadow their existence. It was said that those who embraced their heritage and honored the teachings of their ancestors would find themselves walking between worlds—navigating the realms of reality and spirit, where the past and present intertwine. As I share my journey through the pag...

 In my twenties, I confided in a white woman about how much authority social workers and doctors had over my life. Her expression was one of confusion, almost as if she thought I was delirious—she might have even called it crazy. I was taken aback by her reaction, as I had always assumed everyone shared the same experiences as Indigenous people. That moment opened my eyes to the profound oppression faced by our GITXSAN community. I started to understand the depth of our struggles and the complexities of our identity. The systemic barriers we faced were not just personal; they were woven into the fabric of society itself. It wasn't just about individual experiences but a collective history of colonization, marginalization, and cultural erasure.  As I reflected on that encounter, I realized that the woman’s confusion stemmed from her own lack of understanding about the realities of Indigenous life. She didn’t see the ways in which our communities were impacted by external forces...

In the realm of dreams, I found myself wandering up a valley, a place that felt both familiar and otherworldly, like the spirit of Kitwanga, where my heart grew. I walked alongside my friend Stacey, and we came upon a gathering of people, drawn together by the call of the mountain standing tall beside us, like a guardian watching over the land. As I looked upon the mountainside, my eyes widened in wonder. I saw a few Sasquatch moving gracefully among the trees, their presence ancient and powerful. As I continued to gaze, more and more appeared, until the whole mountainside was alive with their forms—hundreds of Sasquatch, a gathering of the wise ones, watching over us. I wanted Stacey to see this sacred sight, but he decided to return to the village. A worry crept into my heart; I feared for him, for the Sasquatch felt like they were there for a reason. It was as if they were teaching a lesson—a reminder to respect the land and to feel the balance of fear and reverence for life. Though...