Live Reserved

I’ve been reflecting on how you’ve really tried to understand what colonization has done to our people, and I just want to say how much I appreciate you and the work you do.

As Indigenous people, we are constantly juggling many struggles at once. I feel lucky that I have the ability to ask for help and to express myself through writing.

Here’s a snapshot of what life looks like for me right now:

In our Gitxsan communities, we’re seeing one or two deaths every week. It’s mostly due to cancer, suicide, and vehicle accidents. There’s a lot of cancer in our communities, but no one seems to have the resources to figure out why. I suspect it’s the water, especially with all the mining happening around us.

There’s also been a woman missing from my community since December, which weighs heavily on my heart. I try to attend potlatch feasts when I can, as it helps me stay connected to my culture and community.

On top of everything else, I’m dealing with human rights issues related to my oldest daughter, who is transgender and is facing challenges with MCFD (Ministry of Children and Family Development). A few weeks ago, my daughter had a stroke and is now in Saint Paul’s Hospital.

My grandson, who is 18 and in my custody, was recently facing serious charges of sexual assault made by three young white girls. Fortunately, those charges were dropped on Thursday for lack of evidence, but he feels like he’s being targeted. I can only imagine the reasons behind that.

My daughter has struggled with addictions, a result of surviving endless violence, and that’s led to her youngest child, just one year old, being in the Ministry’s custody. My nephew is trying to take her, and if that doesn’t work out, I will step in.

I also attempted to move back home to the Gitanmaax Reserve, but it’s nearly impossible to find housing when you’re working. So now I’m in Smithers, where there’s hardly any housing available either.

Honestly, I know I have it easier than many others in our community, but it still feels heavy. 

Feel free to share this if you think it could help. This is just where I’m at in my life right now.

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