Laws of Matriarch

Morning Thoughts on Traditional Communication As a Gitxsan grandmother, I sit here reflecting on our ways of communication and the deep roots of our culture. We have never been a romanticized people, though society often exaggerates our traditions. At the heart of our existence lies a simple yet powerful truth: Respect Life is our main law. Our communication resembles the branches of a tree—interconnected and supportive. Each house has a key person, someone who acts as a bridge between the community and the chiefs. This person could be a daughter, a son, or another member of the house. We often refer to them as the "matriarch." They naturally find themselves in this role, learning how to convey important information between the chief and the house. When there’s an issue in the community, it’s this key person you should speak to—not directly to the chiefs. This approach has been understood for centuries; chiefs don’t sit in meetings with the community to discuss matters anymor...

I’m a single grandmother raising my 15-year-old grandson and my 13-month-old baby grandson. Right now, I’m facing ongoing challenges with #ChildWelfare, and I’m struggling with daycare issues. I’m about to lose my daycare at the end of this month, on August 29th. The daycare owner has realized she can't carry Angel down 19 flights of stairs in case of a fire alarm, and that puts us in a tough spot. I’m really worried because my options are limited if I can’t find a new daycare. The daycare owner also mentioned that she will need to relocate her daycare, as she doesn’t think she can afford to stay in Vancouver with the skyrocketing housing costs. She said many daycare providers are finding it too expensive to operate in this city. If I can’t find a daycare, I’ll be faced with some difficult choices: - I could put Angel back into VACFSS Ministry care and start all over again. - I might have to take an unpaid leave from work, risking my job. - I could lose my home. - I might have to m...

Hello, I wanted to share an update about my grandson, Angel. Recently, the daycare worker experienced a fire alarm on the weekend and realized she could not carry Angel down 19 flights of stairs in an emergency. She has two other children in her care, and safety is her priority.  Because of this, I need to find another daycare for him starting in September, and it’s proving to be a very difficult task. With the high cost of rent in Vancouver, many daycares are shutting down or moving out of the city, making it even harder for families like mine to find reliable care. In a recent email from T, the daycare worker, she expressed how much she has enjoyed having Angel at Sunny Family Childcare. However, she confirmed that she cannot continue to provide childcare after August 31, 2016, due to safety concerns. She mentioned, “I cannot carry him 19 floors down in case of an emergency when the elevators are not in use, especially since he is not yet walking or able to stand by himself.”...

Why is Christy Clark still forcing child protection on all families? My grandson was born in June 2015, and ever since then, I’ve been navigating the arduous process with the Aboriginal Delegated Agency. It feels like a never-ending battle. Under the Child in Home of a Relative program, children would usually return to their families within months by going through the Family Law Act, often with just two court appearances. Childcare was covered, children received CIHR support, and child tax benefits were accessible. But now, every child who has family they can live with is forced into the child protection process. This means more expensive hours in court, and for many children, it takes a year or even two before they can return to their families—if they’re lucky. It also means high foster care costs for the Ministry. The ministry has a long list of requirements that must be met before any home can be approved. These lists are often put together by nurses and social workers, creating a m...

Wondering what steps you can take to start your staff on the road to reconciliation? It’s time to take action and make meaningful connections with Indigenous communities. First, think about where elders, Chiefs, and Aboriginal speakers can gather to share their wisdom. Is there a dedicated meeting room or space where these conversations can happen? Consider creating a drop-in day specifically for Aboriginal people and youth, a safe space where they can come together to talk and share their experiences. To encourage participation, it’s essential to create the means for Aboriginal people to attend and present. Here’s a simple protocol to follow: - Transportation: Cover gas and transportation costs to ensure elders can reach you. - Food and Accommodation: Provide meals and accommodations if necessary, making it easier for them to join. - Gifts and Honoraria: Offer something meaningful, like a blanket or bowl, as a gesture of respect, along with an honorarium of $150 for their time and kno...

Our Gitxsan Laws hold deep respect for our mothers; we follow the laws of the matriarch. We belong to our mothers, and there are no exceptions to this truth. If your mother is Gitxsan, then you are Gitxsan. If your mother is not, then you are not Gitxsan. While you may be adopted, that means you have dual citizenship and are welcomed to help and join the responsible house that adopted you. Being Gitxsan comes with a great deal of responsibility. We do not rely on the Chiefs; instead, we hold our Chiefs up, supporting them so they can be strong when they voice our concerns, our gratitude, and our strengths.  I urge you to stay true to our laws and not to waver. The Gitxsan people have self-determination as houses, and we must protect that. It is time to STOP allowing just anyone to claim they are Aboriginal. It’s disheartening to see how those with white skin privilege can leverage their position while Native families struggle and starve.  Unless you and your Chief and house ar...

Last Update: Aboriginal Grandmothers Struggling Against #ChildWelfare I want to share an update about my grandson, whom I've had at home since May 31st. Every day with him has been a blessing, and I am so thankful to the Creator for this opportunity to care for him. When you gain a temporary custody order under the CFCSA, you’re supposed to receive the child tax benefits from the Ministry, rather than directly from the CRA. However, it’s now June 10th, and I won’t receive any financial support until July 15th. That means we must navigate a month and a half—90 days—without any financial assistance. I’ve managed to get a $100 Safeway voucher to help us through the first week of June, but most families aren’t so lucky. Many struggle to put food on the table, often STARVING themselves to ensure their children are fed. Let’s talk about welfare for a single person: a mere $250 support per month? And it’s even less on Indian Reserves. Parents will always prioritize their children's ne...

April 2016: Grandmother's Update on My Grandson Hello, everyone.  I want to share an update on my journey to bring my grandson home. As I prepare to get him on May 31, 2016, under a Temporary Custody Order, I feel the weight of this system pressing down on me. The ministry will not provide any financial support, such as child tax benefits, until July 14th. This is yet another inhumane policy that puts me in a precarious position, making me feel like I have to beg for what should be rightfully ours. I’ve been reflecting on my feelings of anger towards some family and friends. Some understand my struggle, while others don’t. I’ve lost connections because I get overly defensive and sensitive. If anyone speaks poorly about me or my children, they should expect to face the wrath of a mother bear. I will not stand for it. I’ve been fighting to get my grandson out of ministry care, and this battle against Canadian laws has been exhausting. I feel a constant anxiety from the convoluted and...

Letter from a Grandmother - April 20, 2016 I want to share an update on my journey to bring my grandson Angel home from Ministry custody. He is now 10 months old, and every day away from him feels like an eternity. I’ve attached a letter I wrote to Westcoast Leaf, UBCIC, and Jody Raybould Wilson, hoping my experience can help other grandparents who find themselves in similar situations. Since reaching out to these community organizations, I’ve noticed some positive movement in my case. It’s a reminder that when we share our stories, we can spark change—not just for ourselves, but for others too. Recently, my home study was approved, even though I didn't have all the baby items required beforehand. I was able to pick up a small first aid kit and two gates just a few days after receiving that approval. I’ve attached the email confirming the home study approval for your reference. Today, I received a court application from VACFSS to have Angel placed in my custody under section 41(1)...

Update: A Letter to Anyone Listening My grandson is almost 10 months old, and I find myself filled with sadness and frustration as I navigate this challenging journey.  I’ve found two daycares for him, but I’ve lost both spots. It feels like I’m running in circles, trying to secure a future for him. I still haven’t been served papers to go to court for a temporary custody order, which leaves me in limbo. I can’t get daycare covered until I have my grandson in my care, but I can’t hold a daycare spot without him. It feels like a cruel game of “catch-22.” I can’t take maternity leave because I’m neither a parent nor a foster parent in the eyes of the system. I work full time, but I’m worried about losing my job if I take an unpaid leave. The fear of becoming homeless looms over me if I step back from work.  The process with VACFSS has become so burdensome, and I’m left feeling trapped in a precarious position as a low-income single parent. My file has been frozen since the last ...

Thoughts for Today Have you ever wondered what women mean when they say, "We are not your Pan Am Indians"? I imagine it speaks to the stereotypes that often overshadow our true essence—those images that the world tries to pin on us. Sometimes, I see our people playing the part, acting in ways that might help them get ahead when dealing with non-Natives. I hear phrases like "in a good way," or comments that downplay our knowledge, as if we don’t know our own words. Everyone seems to become a pipe carrier, and some even grow their hair long or wear traditional dresses to fit a mold. But we Gitxsan are simple people. We don’t romanticize the Spirit; we recognize that we are all equal, gifted in our own ways by the Creator. God is within us and with us, and every thought we have is a prayer in itself. Our limited contact with white society has allowed us to hold onto our traditional teachings, so ingrained in us that it can be difficult to explain. There’s no need for g...

A Grandmother's Plea for Support My grandson Angel is just 9 months old, yet he’s already in the care of the ministry. As his grandmother, I am fighting to bring him home, but the path ahead is riddled with obstacles. I recently sent a letter to Team Leader Claudia, with @Puglaas CC'd, to express my concerns about the system. If I could apply for guardianship through the Family Law Act (FLA), I would have had my grandson in my arms within a few months. But the BC government has cut the 'Child in Home of a Relative' program, leaving low-income families like mine with no options. The FLA is now out of reach, forcing us into a convoluted Child Protection process under the CFCSA. It’s disheartening to face delegated agencies meant for Aboriginal children. There’s nothing truly Indigenous about them; their policies and procedures are often just as oppressive, if not more so.  Last month, I was fortunate enough to secure a legal aid lawyer through an exception review. My l...

Update on My Journey to Bring My Grandson Home As a Gitxsan grandmother navigating the complexities of the child welfare system, I want to share my experience and shed light on the struggles many Indigenous families face.  My grandson is now 7.5 months old and has spent his entire life in care. This is a painful reality that many Aboriginal children endure, and the challenges I face grow heavier each day, especially when it comes to daycare and subsidies. Recently, I spoke with David, the fourth social worker assigned to my grandson Angel’s file in just seven months. He explained the process of the childcare subsidy after I reached out to the Childcare Subsidy office. David informed me that I would need Angel in my custody before I could receive any support. It’s frustrating because I’m merely following the instructions given to me by previous social workers. This back-and-forth is exhausting. David mentioned he tried to meet with me in December to discuss a “TCO”—a Temporary Custo...