Update 5, Gitxsan Grandmothers Struggle with #ChildWelfare #Poverty #Genocide

April 2016: Grandmother's Update on My Grandson

Hello, everyone. 

I want to share an update on my journey to bring my grandson home. As I prepare to get him on May 31, 2016, under a Temporary Custody Order, I feel the weight of this system pressing down on me. The ministry will not provide any financial support, such as child tax benefits, until July 14th. This is yet another inhumane policy that puts me in a precarious position, making me feel like I have to beg for what should be rightfully ours.

I’ve been reflecting on my feelings of anger towards some family and friends. Some understand my struggle, while others don’t. I’ve lost connections because I get overly defensive and sensitive. If anyone speaks poorly about me or my children, they should expect to face the wrath of a mother bear. I will not stand for it.

I’ve been fighting to get my grandson out of ministry care, and this battle against Canadian laws has been exhausting. I feel a constant anxiety from the convoluted and onerous processes that seem designed to wear us down.

As an Aboriginal woman, like many of my age and older, I carry the burden of intergenerational trauma from Indian Residential Schools. I’ve sought therapy for 25 years, continuing my maintenance visits bi-weekly. Yet, the ministry has used my past against me to keep my grandchildren in their custody. I struggle with PTSD; while I may not have many memories, I have triggers that send me into anxiety and depression. Does this mean our children should continue to be taken from us?

We Aboriginal people have families. The Native children taken by Canada have families who love them deeply. Yes, we are suffering, but we cherish our children.

In Gitxsan tradition, our first cousins are our brothers and sisters. Our nieces and nephews who come into our homes are our children and our responsibility. We are a family, bound by love and duty.

Yet, it pains me to see that children from non-Native families are rarely taken. They are often not even investigated when there is a history of violence or drugs involved. I’ve worked on the front lines for over 15 years, and I have seen the disparities firsthand.

My daughter has endured so much. I believe she has survived by turning to drugs; she seldom drinks alcohol. She should not be alive after everything she has faced—multiple rapes, beatings, including having her teeth knocked out by her boyfriend while I was recovering. She has been attacked by people she thought were friends and almost fell victim to being a Missing and Murdered Indigenous Woman twice. 

Once, while hitchhiking from Hazelton to Smithers to go swimming, she was picked up by a man in a rusty blue truck. She escaped from his locked vehicle, and another time she woke up in a basement, trapped and scared somewhere outside Vancouver. She has been attacked by police and bitten by their dogs, yet she was never charged.

Why are you blaming her? If you place any blame on my daughter, you are incredibly ignorant and need to educate yourself. Common clichés and metaphors do not apply to Aboriginal people; they discount the oppression, genocide, legislated poverty, and racism we face daily.

Some of our own people have internalized the beliefs of 'socially accepted racism.' They say things like, “It’s her fault,” “She made that choice,” “It’s karma,” or “You need to be positive.” But we do not always have a choice or the means to control our circumstances.

God is in us and with us, and how God provides is not for anyone to judge.

I am tired—exhausted, really. I will finally get my grandson on May 31st under a Temporary Custody Order, but we have to survive 18 days without ministry funds.

The struggle is long—18 years, unless by some miracle, Canadian laws change. 

I reach out to anyone who reads this: please understand our pain and advocate for change. Stand with us and help protect our children. Together, we can challenge the systems that oppress us and work toward a future where all families are safe and whole. 

Thank you for listening.

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