Cliché

I just had my last lesson come through, and it’s hitting me hard. It sounds so obvious, but it’s one of those clichés that I’ve never liked; things like "they see themselves in you," "they’re just jealous," "bullies are controlling," and "good and evil are the same." But now, the dots are finally connecting.

I’ve faced bullying from my own siblings, and I know I’ve said some pretty hurtful things to my loved ones when I’m in that fight mode. When I’m in fight or flight, fear takes over, usually triggered by anger or hatred. I’m overly sensitive to everything around me; I can feel everyone’s emotions, even their first thoughts, and sometimes I can sense what substances they might be using.

We mirror ourselves in others, and when we see ourselves in someone else, sometimes it brings up fear. Growing up, I witnessed a lot of horror and terror in my community and at home. I learned to become invisible, or else risk facing violence myself. But this morning, the spirit showed me something important: bullies try to control their victims because they themselves are feeling fear. Whatever’s going on in their minds, they’re triggered by something that scares them.

Think about it: if you see a child heading into danger—like running into a busy road to grab a ball—a parent might instinctively rush in to save them, controlling the situation by stopping them and maybe scolding them. Hatred, really, is just an intense fear of something perceived as having a horrific end result. 

It’s ridiculous to say that the victim is the same as the villain. How can a newborn ever be a murderer? That’s always the question I have when someone throws out a dumb cliché like that. They can’t; it’s just a perception mirrored by someone who’s filled with hatred. It’s someone trying to control a situation that feels out of control.

So, when we look in that mirror, it can seem like I’m making the same mistakes as someone else, and they worry I’ll end up with the same outcome. But only that worry can trigger fear. I’ve seen it before: if you don’t follow the rules, you’re doomed; you’re a failure if you can’t play by their game… endless scenarios play out in their minds.

Jealousy creeps in too; it’s the desire to have the freedom to act like others do without care or worry. It might sound like they’re just trying to protect their relationships or family. But really, they think you’re trouble because they’ve been down that road before in some way, and they’re not willing to risk anything. 

It’s a cycle that needs to change, a way to break free from the fear and find strength in understanding and compassion. We all have our struggles, but if we can see the connections and support one another, maybe we can lift each other up instead of tearing each other down.