Cinderella

If this were written from a white man’s perspective, it might look something like this:

I’m not sure if we discussed the electronics. I’ve been trying to call my granddaughter D’s cellphone, the one I bought her as per court order, but every time I call, it goes straight to voicemail. D says it’s because they never charge it, and it just sits in a drawer. I would like to have the Samsung tablet and Motorola cellphone returned, since D will never be allowed to use them to contact her biological family—me, her brother E, and her relatives. Instead, I hear her stepmother and stepsister use the tablet most of the time.

These devices cost a lot, and I’m now stuck in a cellphone plan that I thought would be respected. I believed the judge when he said this court order would actually mean something. 

It feels like D’s stepdad has gotten away with kidnapping my granddaughter. He’s lied to the court, his family, and the community. Only my family knows the truth because we know who my daughter was with when she got pregnant. He has never been held accountable and shows no respect for any court order.

I try to stay positive and be thankful that she may be safe, but she’s with someone who has a history of alcoholism and a DUI conviction causing bodily harm. He got a conditional sentence order because he had a stolen child. 

I’m almost at the point of letting go of this fight. I know D might be feeling angry and vindictive, influenced by her step-parents. I pray for her because she deserves a chance at a better life.

I’m not a lawyer, and I’ve made many mistakes over these eight years. Maybe some of those mistakes came from the loss of my son, the trauma of D being taken by MCFD, and my daughter being assaulted by ten men, followed by her boyfriend breaking her jaw and all her teeth. This ongoing violence against Indigenous women is heartbreaking, and I have faced so much loss.

Perhaps I’ve had distractions that kept me from fighting for my granddaughter, while others saw this as an opportunity, as if God’s doors opened for them to take a child. 

All the legal information in the world can’t replace the need for experienced legal advice and guidance. Even when you have a lawyer, they often come with years of privileged education and procedural knowledge that many people simply don’t have access to.

In my eight years of battling for access to my granddaughter, I’ve noticed a bias in the courts against women. Our traditional Indigenous laws, which should take precedence, are often ignored. The courts in northern BC seem to be stuck in a cycle of systemic prejudice. 

If a parent doesn’t show up to court, they lose all rights to the child, disregarding the intergenerational trauma from the Indian Residential Schools. Evidence is often overlooked unless it’s presented in court, and many unrepresented individuals wouldn’t know how to navigate such a complicated process. Drug addiction can be enough for the courts to disregard a biological parent, while in Vancouver, they say there’s no law against drug use. 

Family services will not get involved as long as someone makes an application in family court, even if there’s been an open file previously. None of these practices seem to serve the best interest of the child; it feels more like policy meant to save face. 

The police often label these situations as “family matters,” even when I have a court order granting me full custody. The new Family Law Act gives step-parents who have kidnapped and alienated a child more rights than the biological family.

No matter what I say or how I try to argue my point—whether I go to court, don’t go to court, call MCFD, don’t call MCFD, or seek advice—I’m always treated like the villain, while D’s stepdad is treated like royalty, rewarded for his lies.

Now he’s applied for child support as a non-parent guardian, which seems to set a troubling precedent under this new Family Law Act.

I hope you can understand the urgency in this situation. We need to acknowledge the history and injustices that have led us here. It’s time for change, and we must work together to ensure our children are protected and our voices are heard. Thank you for your efforts to persevere in this struggle.

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