Laws of Matriarch

Some jokes just go over my head. I’ll chuckle along just to fit in, but honestly, I didn’t get it at all... Then a few days later, out of nowhere, it clicks, and I finally laugh 🤭 Sometimes, I’ll even remember the joke while I’m driving home from work and end up laughing at myself for taking so long to get it. And honestly, that’s pretty funny too! 😋 We find humor in everything, no matter the time or place. 

Just a quick update on what’s been happening over the past few months. My grandson still doesn’t have medical coverage under MSP. I believe he’s registered, but we haven’t received any confirmation from VACFSS that INAC has finished the process. I still need to apply for his Angel's Indian Status card before he can get any medical coverage. In the meantime, I've been applying for Jordan’s Principle to help cover some of the costs. As for my granddaughter Dax’gyet, she’s still with VACFSS and is now 1 year old. She’s starting to transition to my nephew’s home, and we’re hopeful that she’ll be out of foster care soon. We recently moved to Gitanmaax Reserve, and we’re facing challenges with childcare, housing, and medical support, which I mentioned in my last update. Thank you for your continued advocacy and prayers. They mean a lot to us. 

 I love my home, Gitxsan Territory. I grew up in Gitwangak, my father's place, and as I got older, I spent time in Gitanmaax, my mom’s area. Since moving back to the Indian Reserve on October 27, 2018, I’ve faced challenges and seen many barriers that our people deal with in Gitxsan Country. Here’s a summary of my experience: The Working Poor: There’s very little support for those of us working on the Gitanmaax Reserve. I can’t speak for other areas, but here it’s tough. Housing: Finding housing is nearly impossible for those of us who work. The mortgage cap on the Gitanmaax Reserve is $100,000, yet everyone knows that homes cost at least $300,000 for a family. This means most homes are owned by those on social assistance, inherited, or bought outright. People like me, who can’t save $300,000 or more, end up living in overcrowded houses or having to leave Gitxsan territory to rent or buy elsewhere. When it comes to renting, I’ve only heard back from Eileen Joseph about my mom...

This morning, I was gifted a dream that felt like a sacred blessing.  I found myself at work, but it was different—a new location resembling a store, where we were meant to serve as legal advocates for our people. It was a beautiful space, filled with Indigenous creations, as others busily prepared for the opening. I couldn’t help but smile at the warmth and spirit evident all around. Yet, my heart felt heavy with worry for Conan. Even though I knew he was safe, anxiety crept in, whispering that something was amiss. I felt a pull, as though he needed to reach me in a moment of urgency.  I hung my jacket in a cubby, my cell phone tucked inside, but when I went back to find it, the space was crowded with other coats, making it impossible to reach my phone. The office continued to fill with people, and I felt the tension rise, knowing I couldn't connect just yet.  Then, the traditional people arrived. With every announcement, joy filled the air as they sang and danced upon...

Good morning, beloved community! Today is a new dawn, a fresh opportunity to embrace the beauty around us. May your day be filled with love, laughter, and cherished memories. ❤️  Yesterday, my heart was heavy with worry for my mother, who has crossed the threshold of 80 years. In those moments of uncertainty, I turned to prayer, and the weight began to lift, reminding me of the strength we hold when we lean on our traditions and one another. I sincerely apologize to anyone I may have unintentionally hurt with my words during times of stress. Thank you to the incredible women who have surrounded me with your support, strength, and prayers. Your kindness empowers us all. ❤️  Life can throw us challenges that feel insurmountable, but it’s in those moments we find our resilience. My yea’a taught us to honor and listen to our elders, even when their voices are raised in anger. Their words are rooted in love and concern, a testament to their care for our futures. We are truly blesse...

--- Dear Guardians of Our Children, I am writing with a heart heavy for my granddaughter Dax’gyet, who has been away from her family for what feels like an eternity. At just 10 months old, and having faced the challenges of being born early, she has shown strength that runs deep in our people. It’s time for her to be home, surrounded by love and heritage. Dax’gyet is currently in foster care with a nurturing family in Surrey. They are caring individuals, and I appreciate their role in helping her thrive during those crucial early months. But she is stable now, and the call of her people is strong. It’s time to bring her back to the warmth of our community, to her true family.  You know as well as I do that our Indigenous communities have faced countless challenges, often compounded by a system that has not treated us fairly. The shadows of the past—residential schools and systemic racism—linger and impact our futures. Many of us carry the weight of these injustices, and it’s an uph...

Should we really shake things up by pointing out that white folks have been drinking while pregnant for hundreds, maybe even thousands, of years? And today, they might have more access to alcohol than many of our people who are struggling in extreme poverty? 🤔  If that’s the case, it makes you wonder how many of the laws in Canada were crafted by white men who don’t understand our reality.  The old stereotype is crumbling:   Researchers have found that Native Americans actually drink less than white people. It’s frustrating how these misconceptions persist while we’re just trying to live our lives and care for our families.  But there’s hope. As we share our truths and challenge these outdated beliefs, we can pave the way for understanding and respect. We deserve to be heard and to break free from the chains of these stereotypes. Let’s keep pushing for change and lifting each other up.

I had this dream where our houses were all wrecked by a hurricane, even my ex’s place was gone too. His truck was broken down because he never took care of it, so he just left it on the side of the road. I didn’t want to use my van because I’m always low on cash for gas, so I had a little chat with his truck and, to my surprise, it started right up! 😂 I just hoped he wouldn’t see me using it and get angry like he usually does. If he did, I’d have to make up some excuse about running out of gas just to keep the peace. But you know what? It felt like a good dream about starting fresh and moving on. ❤️

Sim’O’get Lax’Ha’get,   The highest chief, our guiding light,   God is in us, God walks beside us,   Our ancestors whisper wisdom in the night.   Respect the spirit, let it flow,   In every breath, let love grow. ❤️   The animals and plants share their voice,   In nature's embrace, we find our choice.   They speak to our spirits, a sacred dance,   In the heart of the forest, we find our chance.   Every thought we hold, a prayer sent high,   Carried by the wind, to the vast, open sky.   In the stillness, we hear their call,   In every moment, we’re one with it all.   So let us walk gently on this earth,   Honoring our roots, celebrating our worth.   With each step, we honor our past,   In unity and love, our spirits will last.

It’s often women who stand up for what’s right. Canada has never really listened to women, and when it comes to Indigenous women, it’s even worse. Today, I feel like I might just throw in the towel. There’s so much hatred and racism directed at our people, and then there’s the lateral violence within our own communities. It’s exhausting to hear the ignorant comments from those who are privileged in Canada.  We see it all over social media—people posting hurtful memes and spreading false narratives that paint us as lazy or criminal. The media sometimes sensationalizes our struggles, focusing on the negative aspects of our communities without showing the strength and resilience we have. Articles often highlight our problems but ignore the systemic issues that cause them, leading to more hatred and misunderstanding. I’ve had some support from my friends and family, but honestly, it’s not much overall. That’s just the way it is, sadly. I keep pushing for our people, trying to break do...

I'm really tired.  Today has been tough, filled with ignorance and racism.  It’s frustrating when people with privilege try to compare their lives to ours, making it even harder to keep going.  I’m drained from trying to teach those who are comfortable in their privilege and don’t really want to change.  It’s tiring to hear that we’re all equal when I’ve had the ministry involved in my life for 40 years, and our kids are being taken away at rates higher than when we were sent to residential schools.  I’m fed up fighting for our people to be able to pray outside of Indian Reserves in Vancouver.  I’m exhausted from seeing others with less education and experience get opportunities that we don’t have.  I worry about my kids going to school, dealing with the same systemic racism, and hearing that “savage Aboriginal people” were defeated long ago.  I’m scared for my girl’s safety, knowing that if something happens to her, people might not care because ...

Hi everyone, I just wanted to give you a quick update regarding my grandson's status card application with VACFSS. Since he was placed under Section 54.01, he hasn’t had any provincial medical or dental coverage. When children are removed, the ministry doesn’t prioritize making sure they have everything in place when they’re returned to their family and community, or when they age out. Families can't register a child for Indian Status without a court order, and the ministry neglects this important responsibility. Many families don’t realize there’s been no coverage until it’s time for a check-up. In Canada, Aboriginal people must present an Indian Status Card along with their Care Card to receive coverage, unlike everyone else in the country. Here’s my latest email to VACFSS to follow up on my grandson’s registration so I can order his Status Card: --- Hello, Has anyone heard from INAC regarding Angel’s registration?  I’m also wondering if Dax'gyet’s application has been ma...

Every so often, my arms ache with the weight of loss.  Twelve years ago, my son passed away from heart problems. I will never truly get over it, and I don’t want to let go of my boy. I’ve learned to navigate life without him, but it hasn’t been easy. I’ve gone through the grieving process and bouts of depression, and I continue to experience moments filled with beautiful memories mixed with deep sadness. In our Gitxsan tradition, we’ve had burnings since time immemorial. We light a fire and offer food for the spirits and our ancestors. When our loved ones gather—God, the living, those who have passed, and our ancestors—we hold a burning and pray together. I’ve tried to hold a burning here on the Indian Reserve in Vancouver, on Coast Salish Territory, but each time my fire has been put out by the Vancouver Police Department, and I’ve been threatened with charges. Each time this happens, it feels devastating. The food I offered for my boy was already in the fire, and it felt like I w...

My Gitxsan culture and spirituality have always been a part of my upbringing, even if I didn’t fully realize it until I was in my 20s. As a young child entering elementary school, I was punished for speaking my language, and I faced discipline for many things I didn’t understand. I can’t say I learned much during my time in elementary or high school. In fact, I found most subjects easy and often wondered why others struggled with math, even though I ended up failing everything. Both of my parents attended Indian Residential School, and because of that, I carry the intergenerational impacts of those experiences.  What does that mean?  It means there’s a lot of work to do in mending the relationship between Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal people living on the traditional territories of Indigenous peoples in Canada and North America. Until we start working on these relationships and take action to improve things for future generations, not much will change. My life has been about ...

Reflections on the Fight for Freedom: A Gitxsan Perspective Most of the time, I find myself debriefing about my thoughts when things get tough in my daily fight for freedom. The last few days have shown me some differences, and I’ve caught glimpses of humanity that give me hope. Throughout my life, I’ve taken on many projects, primarily focused on advocating for Aboriginal issues. My main goal, like many others, is to secure a better future for our children and grandchildren. We all want our grandchildren to have a good life, but more than that, we want them to be FREE. I often remind myself of my mantra: Free the Indians! Free the Indians! We are all going through a cleansing—whether we like it or not. It’s uncomfortable for those who hold white privilege and for those who are used to social and economic stratification. You might wonder who would want this change, and the truth is, it’s almost everyone making a living under the system. I’ve decided to get back into some volunteer work...

I want to organize a burning to feed the spirits right here in Vancouver. This is something I deeply feel called to do. As I reflect on the efforts we’ve made to change the systemic racism and lower barriers for Aboriginal people in BC, I can’t help but ask—has anything really changed? The hatred and racism that surround us present a significant challenge for me as an Aboriginal woman.  Most of the time, I manage to complete my Aboriginal projects, even if there’s a bit of anxiety and resistance that comes along with them. But sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by the socially accepted oppression in Canada, and I find myself stopping in my tracks. When I need to do something for our community, it’s not easy. Today, I’m struggling because every so often, I wonder if I’m next. Is it the full moon that brings these thoughts to the surface, urging me to confront my fears? All I want is a safe place to pray, free from the worry of police stomping out my fire and threatening to charge me. Wi...

Reflections on Culture, Spirituality, and the Role of Matriarchy Today, we had a significant discussion about culture, spirituality, and our pledge to uphold our traditions. It was a conversation filled with questions, and I left feeling concerned about some of the generalizations that were made. There are so many beautiful and diverse ways to practice our culture and to pray. The focus of our discussion with the women I spoke with centered around matriarchy and respect. One of the main concerns we talked about was, “Where are these beliefs coming from?” There seem to be so many new rules and ideas that I’ve never heard of before. For example, I’ve heard that women are not allowed to drum, that women serve but don’t lead, that women have never been chiefs, and that we are supposed to follow our fathers. I’ve also heard that only chiefs are allowed to wear blankets. I worry that many of these laws and practices are moving forward without consulting women. Most decisions are based heavil...

I know I’ve said this before, but I want to say it again. We follow the laws of the matriarch. If your mother is Gitxsan, then you are Gitxsan. You belong to your mother’s house. If your mom is Scottish, then you’re Scottish. It’s important to respect our mothers and know who you are. Nations can disappear when traditional laws aren’t upheld.  If someone claims to be Gitxsan, ask them who their mother is to confirm their identity.  Being adopted doesn’t automatically make someone Gitxsan. Those who are adopted have dual citizenship and can practice Gitxsan traditions, but they don’t have the hereditary lineage or title that comes from being born into our culture.  Let’s honor our roots and keep our traditions strong.

We Must Be Brave: A Gitxsan Grandmother’s Reflection We must be brave. We must hold our ground. The topic of “elder” came up tonight, and I was asked if I consider myself an elder. Honestly, I’ve never understood why labels are so important. I suspect it has a lot to do with funding and politics, and perhaps some religious beliefs tied to fire and lightning. There’s so much pressure on Aboriginal people to be inclusive. I often feel anxious about upsetting white people, and in trying to be inclusive, we sometimes unknowingly adopt white political beliefs, which leads organizations to exclude our own Aboriginal laws and traditions entirely. Over the last 20 years, I’ve noticed more and more labels—elder, matriarch, self-determination, traditional, healer, First Nations. I’ve made mistakes in the past by giving in to the pressures of others' fears, and that’s led to a betrayal of my own Gitxsan teachings and community members. It’s a lifetime regret I carry with me. Tonight, it w...

Okay, I’ve had my grandson in my custody under Section 54.3 for 9 months now, and he’s currently 2 years and 9 months old. For those 9 months, he has been without medical coverage because the ministry has neglected to prioritize getting everything in place for his medical coverage before he was released from VACFSS custody. I spoke with Sasha about this issue and submitted the court order to Indian Affairs two months ago, but I still haven’t heard back. Once Angel is registered for Indian Status, I can order his status card, and once I receive that card, he will finally be covered under MSP. Since getting the signed court order two months ago, my grandson has been covered under my work plan with Blue Cross. However, I know that most Aboriginal people don’t have employment, which means many Indigenous children go without medical coverage for far too long. Below is the latest string of emails regarding the progress of Angel’s Indian Status registration: --- Hi, Maybe you can speak with ...

Ok,  I’ve been feeling like some of my family have gotten weirder lately, and it hurts. The ways of white culture are hard for me to accept sometimes.  As Gitxsan, we usually let everyone know what’s happening in our lives, and we gather together to pray and welcome new life. These days, though, when families have a baby, the hospitals are often swamped, making it harder to connect.  It feels like white people have become estranged from their families, even from siblings, freezing everyone out. I can’t help but feel hurt by how strange things have become, and I miss the closeness of my family. When my boy Conan passed away, I stopped having dinners. It was a tough time for me. Thankfully, someone stepped in and helped me start inviting people over again. They also helped me work through my anxiety about traveling.  Now, I notice that some of my siblings don’t talk to each other anymore. No one replies to messages, and no one comes together like we used to. It makes ...

Voices of a Gitxsan Woman Super not in a good mood,   Sick of the state of my loved ones,   Gitxsan and all our kin,   Bearing the weight of a world so cruel,   A world where racism and discrimination loom.   I won’t pretend it’s not there,   Just to ease your fears or soothe your soul.   Today, I feel moments of fear—   For me and my children,   Life is tough, and shadows loom near.   We’ve learned to live and die   With this socially accepted racism,   To the point where we are murdered,   Our stories silenced, our voices hushed.   Don’t tell me to word things right,   Don’t tell me not to feel angry,   I’m a human, an Aboriginal woman,   And this is my reality.   We struggle to help our loved ones,   Advised and forced to let go,   Feeling hopeless as we watch them fall,   Knowing they’ve been raped,   Knowing they’ve been abused,   Suffering the impacts of the IRS, ...

As you know, I’ve been struggling to get medical coverage for my grandson, who is now 2.5 years old. I still haven’t been able to secure it. To get First Nations medical coverage for our grandchildren, grandparents need a signed court order and an Indian Status Registration—period. I’m hopeful that I can have my grandson registered with our band in about a month. I will apply for his Status Card, but I know that will take 6 to 8 months to receive, which will finally give Angel the medical coverage he needs. VACFSS has been working on Angel’s Indian registration for 2.5 years, ever since he was removed from his home. He has been in my custody for the past six months, and I feel the weight of this ongoing struggle. I also want to update you on my granddaughter, Dex. I took it upon myself to register her birth certificate and Indian Status. She was born on November 7, 2017, but like her brother, she has also been removed and is currently in VACFSS custody. Here is my latest email update t...

Today, I received the signed court order for my grandson, Angel, and I feel a mix of relief and concern as I move forward. Here’s my latest email to the government of Canada and the province: --- To: "MCF PDCW MCF:EX" MCF.PDCW@gov.bc.ca (mailto:MCF.PDCW@gov.bc.ca);   Cc: "Horgan.MLA, John LASS:EX"; John.Horgan.MLA@leg.bc.ca (mailto:John.Horgan.MLA@leg.bc.ca);   "Dix, Adrian HLTH:EX"; Adrian.Dix@gov.bc.ca (mailto:Adrian.Dix@gov.bc.ca);   "Brown, Stephen R HLTH:EX"; Stephen.Brown@gov.bc.ca (mailto:Stephen.Brown@gov.bc.ca);   "Ghostkeeper, Cindy MCF:EX"; Cindy.Ghostkeeper@gov.bc.ca (mailto:Cindy.Ghostkeeper@gov.bc.ca);   Hello, I want to update you that I received a signed order today from counsel. I’m hopeful it won’t take long to add Angel as a dependent to an extended health plan. As a working parent, this means he will finally have the medical coverage he needs. However, this gap in coverage has left many First Nations children withou...